Horoscopes

Our FCE students are not just good at studying grammar and passing exams, they can also see into the future and read your horoscope from the stars. Amazing! Here is advice about work, love and health from Magic Marta - Stargazer Stefano - Rune-Reader Ravin and Shaman Shiori.

Capricorn: 24/12 – 23/01: Work: You are in the wrong place. It would be a good choice for you to go to work for Poundland. Love: Hastings girls/ boys will be suitable for you. Health: Stop smoking, drinking, eating.

Aquarius 24/01 – 23/02: Work: It’s time to get a job in a museum to expand your knowledge. Love: You will be a solitary person. Health: Just relax, calm down, don’t be aggressive.

Pisces 24/02 – 23/03: Work: You will receive a tempting offer from McDonald’s. Love: Stop dreaming!! You will never meet someone in the New Year, just focus on your hamburgers!! Health: Try a new diet.

Aries 24/03 – 23/04: Work: Nothing to say.. Love: I don’t mind your sentimental situation, it’s your business. Health: Buy a gun.

Taurus 24/04 – 23/05: Work: Are you ready to be fired?? Love: Stop looking at Facebook, the real life is outside your home. Health: Smile!!!!!! It’s a joke!!!! Everything will be fine (in the future)

Gemini 24/05 – 23/06: Work: Something marvellous is going to happen in your life, you are going to move to work in the middle of The Sahara Desert with camels and dangerous snakes. Love: You can meet your prince or princess. All you have to do is go to North Korea. Health: Keep drinking beer and vodka.

Cancer 24/06 – 23/07: Work: Until next year you will be unemployed but don’t worry because the important thing is health. Love: Go to a foreign country, it will give you the opportunity to find true love. Health: You are putting on weight. Keep training!

Leo 24/07 – 23/08: Work: Someone is going to kick your beautiful bottom. Love: Well…You are a lost case!! Health: Maybe less working out would be better.

Virgo 24/08 – 23/09: Work: Work as much as you can, you are not going to retire… Love: Just keep going Health: Take up skiing in Switzerland with Stefano!!!!

Libra 24/09 – 23/10: Work: Keep trying sending CVs. Have you ever tried to apply for a job at Morrison’s? Love: You have already found true love so make sure that he/she is not gay/ lesbian. Health: OMG go to the gym!!!!

Scorpio 24/10 – 23/11: Work: Keep working until you die. Love: Keep loving until you die. Health: Keep running until you die.

Sagittarius 24/11– 23/12: Work: Find in the dictionary the meaning of work.. Love: Call a random number. Health: Stop looking at magazines, move to the kitchen and keep on reading.